Christopher Nolan is simultaneously one of the best and one of the most overrated filmmakers. Fans of
his are very passionate, and will no doubt fill my inbox with hate mail at how ignorant and foolish I am
to dislike their favorite Nolan film. They will claim that I am a fool to not universally accept their belief
that a Christopher Nolan screenplay is the greatest storytelling experience ever. A Christopher Nolan
fan will quite possibly try to tell you that Nolan’s shit does not, in fact, stink.
In this writer’s humble opinion, Nolan has some hits, and he has some shits. His shit most definitely
stinks. Let’s count the films down from worst to best, and piss off his fans along the way, shall we?

The Prestige: Truly one of the most boring films I have ever seen. If you are not going to see just one
film about magicians this year, make certain this is the one you do not see. Watch Burt Wonderstone
instead. Or The Illusionist. Or, better yet, find some sort of 1980’s David Copperfield special on
YouTube.

The Prestige has a twist ending that I jokingly guessed two minutes into the film and was horrified to see
that I was more or less correct. That I can jokingly predict the worst ending possible, and then see it
come to fruition, is the real trick. I tried to rewatch it years later, and as my mother made fun of it, she
had me in tears laughing at how bad it was.

Dunkirk: This film lasts almost as long as World War II did.
Interstellar: I very much enjoyed this film for a short while. About halfway through it, I’m not sure why,
but I my brain checked out of it. I had bought into it, and I reached a saturation level, and I could no
longer keep buying into the storyline. Matthew McConaughey crying, Topher Grace freaking out about
crops, spending a trillion dollars to rescue Matt Damon in yet another film (Saving Private Ryan, The
Martian), space stations spinning around so much that the rotation sunlight makes me want to vomit. I
simply could not take it any longer.

When I saw this at the theater, it was not just I that checked out. As other people in the theater laughed
at McConaughey’s crying face, I knew we were enjoying a communal moviegoing experience. The
experience that only Christopher Nolan’s crap movies can do to an audience, bring us together in the
disbelief that people actually can enjoy what is clearly complete drivel.
Insomnia: This film is not written by Nolan but is directed by him. Therefore, it is not a complete Nolan
film. I still wanted to add it to the list though, just because he does add his special ability to make things
boring to this film.

Oppenheimer: The first two-thirds of this movie were entertaining. But just when you thought
Christopher Nolan was going to be successful at not sucking, the final third of the film comes around.
You thought you were going to enjoy a film about the creation of the atomic bomb, but no! You get to
enjoy the process of confirming the Secretary of Commerce. Because… ummm, science? Yeah, one
scientist was mean to another at one point, and that was clearly an important thing we need to spend a
lot of time talking about because… umm, Department of Commerce.

Memento: Kind of an okay movie. Better yet, watch the episode from season 8 of The X-Files, titled
Redrum. Which had a very similar plot as Memento but did it first and did it better.

The Dark Knight: Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy is quite good. This film, which is popularly
regarded as the best of the three, the middle installment, is in fact the worst of the three. Overall, it’s
still a good film. Why is The Darnk Knight the worst of the three Nolan Batman films? One reason.
Chistian Bale’s voice is so, so, so very BAD! If you thought his performance in The Prestige was hot
garbage, then just wait until you see how preposterously ridiculous his acting choice is when it comes to
his Batman voice. The overall movie is still good, despite Christian Bale’s incompetence.

The Dark Knight Rises: Christian Bale tones down his voice somewhat in this 3 rd film of the Batman
trilogy. Thankfully. But Tom Hardy goes over-the-top with his voice portrayal of Bane. Is Christopher
Nolan asking his actors to try and be misunderstood, to not communicate well? Did Christopher Nolan
realize he had a good script and therefore asked his actors to please ruin a good film with shoddy
performances? I give the edge to this film over The Dark Knight because of Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s
performance. His brave decision to speak in a normal voice was a brilliant acting choice.
Batman Begins: All jokes aside, I was genuinely blown away when I saw this, the first part of Nolan’s
Batman trilogy. It was so different from what had been the status quo, the Joel Schumacher era of
Batman, that it helped to move the franchise into the 21 st Century. Additionally, I really enjoy Liam
Neeson in this film.

Tenet: This is probably one of the less favorite Christopher Nolan films among his fanatical fans. I
disagree. It’s a weird one, and I can totally understand if people check out and never mentally get into
the film. This film had the opposite reaction for me, compared with my reaction to Interstellar. This one
I struggled with for the first half of the story, and then about halfway through, everything just sort of
clicked for me. I love a good time travel movie, and outside of the Back To The Future trilogy, this film
just might be my favorite time travel film. I think it’s brilliant storytelling. And unlike many of the
previous films mentioned, Nolan decided to not be boring and stupid. So that was nice.

Inception: Much like my commentary on Tenet, I can also say about Inception that I totally understand
if viewers just did not buy into this film. There is a premise, and one sort of just has to agree to go along
with it or not. If you don’t buy into the premise, and you hate the film, I genuinely can understand that.
But if you buy into it, like I did, you’ll love this film.

Despite of my hating on half of Christopher Nolan’s filmography, Inception is one of my favorite films of
all time. Again, like with Tenet, I think it is brilliant storytelling. Inception adds into the mix Leonardo
DiCaprio’s sensational acting. Once again, like with The Dark Knight Rises, Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s acting
steals some scenes. Plus, Inception has one of my favorite cinema fight scenes ever. A fight in a dream,
in zero-gravity, while a van free falls off a bridge. This film is so freaking good, it almost makes me
forgive Chrstopher Nolan for The Prestige.

But not really. Seriously, just watch paint dry instead of ever viewing The Prestige. Watch grass grow.
Do anything else.

Thank you, Christopher Nolan, for a couple of good films. Please stop making that other crap.

-MTR