Faith No More – The Real Thing
Release Date: June 20, 1989 via Slash and Reprise Records
There are five – what I like to call – Mike Patton voices. You could also say five different era’s. There’s the throaty, sinister snarl that boarders on a growl. There’s the chesty, full on singing voice. Then there’s the head voice that provides a soothing higher register that can be used as harmony or lead vocals. There’s also the screams that are controlled and chaotic all at the same time. Finally, there’s the back of the throat, non-chesty, singing voice. A voice that every single Faith No More fan has tried to emulate when singing songs off of The Real Thing. Faith No More’s Faith No More’s Patton uses all of these voices equally on every FNM record with the exception of the fifth voice.
Let me give some disclosure here. I’m an enormous FNM fan and love each voice and era dearly in its own way. However, I’ve always considered ‘Angel Dust’ to be the best FNM album ever recorded. There are many reasons to feel this way but one of them is that I felt like Patton brilliantly mixed some of the first four voices with The Real Thing voice on Angel Dust. It’s like the best of his voices all mixed together on one record. Having said all of that, there are days when I’m driving and an album like Album of the Year or Sol Invictus comes on and I’m all about it. Start to finish. But here’s the thing. I’ve noticed that while I still feel Angel Dust is the superior record, I find myself listening to The Real Thing much more.
On June 20 of this year, The Real Thing turned 30 years old. (30 years!) It’s an important milestone for music because these guys helped change the music landscape for the next decade and beyond. While I’ve stated many times that the 90’s rock/grunge era is one of my very favorites, FNM is not mentioned enough as a bridge between 80’s pop (Wham, Duran Duran) and 80’s rock (Poison, Skid Row) to grunge as we know it. Every time I hear about a shift from Every Rose Has It’s Thorn to Smells like Teen Spirit, they say there was such a change in those 4 years to Nirvana, Alice in Chains and Pearl Jam. But I always point to The Real Thing as the start of a huge shift in music-sound, from the hair metal decade. It didn’t really turn overnight. Faith No More put out a brilliant record right before that Seattle explosion – that wasn’t like anything we heard before. Certainly not in the 1980’s.
The first experience we get from The Real Thing is From Out Of Nowhere. This happens to be my favorite FNM song. (Okay.. it’s like a 1 and 1A situation with this one and Midlife Crisis) From the beginning the song really cooks with heavy guitars from Jim Martin and crushing floor tom from drummer Mike Bordin. But the glue that holds it all together is the keyboard work of Roddy Bottum. Not only is it the perfect way to start the record, it’s also one of the best songs to see live when the band is in concert.
Track two – Epic – was a monster hit for the band. Number 9 on the Billboard Hot 100 and a video that had people flopping around and gasping for air. That’s the effect this video had on people. This exposure for the band was incredible and opened up an audience to hear and buy this album. The Real Thing went on to sell over a million copies. It’s rock-funk-rap-swagger hit a nerve and people couldn’t seem to get enough.
The third song is also one of my personal favorites but one that seems to get left off the “best of” releases and most set lists. Bassist Billy Gould told EON Music in 2016, “That song sucks, let’s face it. I don’t know, we don’t groove on that one. Also, when you play it live, it just kind of gets boring.” Well, I, personally get into the flow of it and especially when Gould leaves those staccato breadcrumbs while moving up the fret board. I don’t know, I guess I’m all about that bass.. at least when it comes to the song, Falling To Pieces.
The next song up is Surprise! You’re Dead! The album credits list Jim Martin as the writer on this one. You’re damn right Jim Martin wrote it. This 2:27 adventure sees the band slay right through some truly explosive vocals, insane lyrics and some seriously bitchin’ guitars.
Zombie Eaters is number five on the track list. Here’s a song that very much ties in together the sound of the album. The acoustic guitars lead us into another aspect to Patton’s voice. His subtle delivery here is exactly one of the voices I mentioned at the top of this article. His vocal progression gets more aggressive as the song goes on. That dynamic range on this song makes it possibly one of my favorite Patton performances on the entire album.
Now kids, this is where the track list gets a little screwy. I cut my teeth on this cassette and on my version, Edge of the World was the last song on side one. Where ever it is, this is about the most uncomfortable, hand over my face, wash my clothes, type of song I can think of. Does it make it a bad song? No way. I actually like the way the piano, bass, drums and Patton’s vocals all seem to be out front (if that’s even possible) during the song. Depending on your preference of instrument, you could realistically pull out your favorite and lock in on it, on this one. Truth be told. The first time I heard it I said, “WTF am I listening to??” But this was one I kept coming back to over and over again.
Since I mentioned the cassette version of The Real Thing. Here’s the first song on side two. This is massively important when you didn’t have a CD player. Just like its counterpart on side one, From Out Of Nowhere, The Real Thing track was easily accessible to listen to again and again. No need to try and find where the song started, you just hit rewind, press play and boom – That drum beat. With just enough stereo delay on the rim shots to give it the right amount of space before those eerie guitar noises and synths start to enter the song. It’s 8 minutes of pure sonic bliss for any fan of the band. It’s one of the rare songs over 5 minutes where I NEVER think about skipping to the next song. I let it flow into the next track, which is Underwater Love.
As you might be able to tell.. I like this record. I would say Underwater Love almost breaks the surface – near the top of my list. I don’t have a great explanation why, but I’ve always grooved on these lyrics and sang them confidently when the song is blasting through my speakers:
Liquid seeps into your lungs
But your eyes look so serene
It’s wonderful how the surface ripples
But you’re perfect, and I cannot breathe
There’s a couple different incarnations of the next song, The Morning After. I love the way this final version came out. Bordin’s snare is so snappy but full and I love his groove on this one. But we’ll get to Mr. Bordin in just a few. For now let us enjoy the next track. The instrumental, Woodpecker From Mars. Specifically the breakdown at 2:15.
You’re welcome.
Now we turn to one of my favorite covers songs. I would never say that Mike Patton sounds like Ozzy Osbourne. But goddamn does Mike Patton sound like Ozzy Osbourne in spots on their version of War Pigs. But for me, it’s all about the drums here. Puff brought out his best stuff on the record for this one. All of his fills sit nicely in the pocket but his attack on the snare at 5:16 and the next fill right after that – are just sick. Like the worst flu you’ve ever had sick. This is such a great cover that I’ll bet Martin had a huge smile on his face (even though I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a picture with him smiling in it) when they recorded it. I mean come on, you’re playing a Sabbath song with your Marshall cranked all the way up. Truly epic.
It’s been 30 years since one of my favorite bands released one of my favorite albums of all time – The Real Thing. I’ve listed many reasons why I think so. But finally, it was also the start of the Mike Patton era and the five voices of Mike. He combined his unique vocal style with killer guitars (a killer sound that remained with the band after Martin’s departure after Angel Dust), funky and aggressively mixed bass guitars, keys and synths that would make the album sound completely naked without and those powerful drums with Bordin’s left foot keeping time during the recordings.
I stated earlier that Angel Dust was my favorite by the band but I’ve been listening to this one much more these days. I think it’s because of voice number five. I would almost never want him to lay down vocals like that again.
Because he got them exactly-perfect on The Real Thing.
Go give it another listen through. It really is such a special and dynamic record. Maybe you’ll have some of those memories of the first time you heard it, come flooding back like I did while writing this. For me there were many summer days playing basketball at the courts and riding my skateboard in the grocery store parking lot. All the while trying to dodge cars, the Fotomat booth and pick up my boom box before the manager of the store got to it first. Yeah!
I’ll see you in June of 2022 – when I break down Angel Dust for its 30th Anniversary. (Jesus)
-Tommy Marz
You can follow Tommy on Twitter and let him know what you think.
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